


Three Bullets

by AcademyofShipping



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Action, Emotional Consequences, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Post-Season/Series 03, sometime during season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-18
Packaged: 2018-04-19 23:19:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4764737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcademyofShipping/pseuds/AcademyofShipping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity is forced into the action when someone she loves is taken. The fallout will have life altering consequences that will make Felicity question her very nature. Oliver, being the ever-supporting boyfriend, does his best to help her adjust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story has 3 chapters plus an epilogue. After this chapter the chapters are longer.
> 
> Thank you to Janis (@so-caffeinated on tumblr) for helping out with this. You deserve all the Stephen Amells.

Felicity massaged her right shoulder as she put the finishing touches on her presentation for the investors’ meeting. When her cell rang, the shrillness caused her to answer as fast as she could, leaving her no time to see the caller ID flash Unknown Caller.

“Hello,” she said.

“Hello, Felicity.”

Felicity stopped typing on her tablet and stilled her whole body. The voice on the other end of the line belonged to the man who had exclusively featured in her nightmares for the last month. Felicity’s dilated eyes darted around the room searching for threats. Her breathing became shallow, her heart picked up speed, and goose bumps appeared on her arms. She tried to speak, but sound refused to come out of her mouth. She swallowed hard and gripped the phone tighter, causing her knuckles to turn white. Felicity’s lack of response, however, didn’t deter the caller.

“I’m going to fix everything in your life that you seem unable - or unwilling - to fix for yourself.”

“What does that mean?” Felicity managed to ask.

She tried to imagine what Damien Darhk could possibly think would improve her life as she gripped her phone tighter. Holding the phone closer to her ear didn’t provide a closer connection, psychic or otherwise, to the man she shared half her DNA with. Somehow Felicity didn’t think Darhk meant he was leaving her life for good, as she thought he had done all those years ago. In fact, Felicity was certain whatever his actions were, she would meet them with dread and not gratitude.

“You seem to love Queen. He has powerful, emotional connections to people that aren’t you.” His words were methodical; his voice detached. “If it hasn’t already, that is going to hurt you one day. I am preventing that pain.”

Panic seized Felicity’s heart and her breathing became shallow and erratic. A slight buzzing filled her head as she tried to deny the possible scenarios Darhk was describing.

“How?” Felicity breathed out.

“I have the child he conceived with another woman. Really, how you have allowed yourself in this situation is beyond me.”

The image of eight-year-old Connor alone and afraid snapped Felicity’s brain back into focus. She quickly put the call on speaker and began to ping Darhk’s phone. If she’d had the time to notice, she would have been proud of how her fingers remained steady as adrenaline surged through her system.

“Queen expecting you to help raise this child is insulting.”

Felicity was surprised when his coordinates were so easily found. She ran the search again to check for any anomalies that may have given a false location.

“I will not allow my daughter to degrade herself in this way,” Darhk continued and Felicity bristled at the familial connection he was insisting was between them. “I’m sure by now you have discovered my location. You always were so smart. I’m willing to offer you a choice to set things right yourself.”

“You want me to find you?”

“Of course. We have a lot to discuss. And I need to see how worthy of my instruction you are. Don’t contact anyone about where you’re going or why you are going there. Especially Queen.”

Felicity stopped mid-keyboard stroke. Her message to Oliver only half a sentence in.

“What’s to stop me from calling the police?”

Felicity normally wouldn’t bluntly ask, but she knew Darhk had accounted for every contingency and she wanted to be as prepared as she could be.

“Amber alerts are taken quite seriously, and, as you say, I have your location.”

“Excellent question. If anyone but you walks through that door, I’ll kill the boy. And my agents surrounding the place will kill anyone who comes with you. I know you don’t want to be responsible for signing anybody’s death warrant.”

Felicity sighed, realizing the corner she was being boxed into was not a good corner to be in. Not that any corner you were boxed into was good, though this particular corner was possibly the worst she had been in. But she knew her choices were severely limited and she would have to play along. For Connor’s sake.

“Felicity, dear, I suggest you get a move on. I can’t say I’ll be here in 20 minutes if you aren’t also here.”

The line went dead and Felicity took two seconds to gather her thoughts. She rushed to finished the message to Oliver, cc’d Captain Lance, and scheduled it to be sent to their phones in 25 minutes. She grabbed the key she claimed she would never use from the middle drawer of her desk, then opened the side drawer and pulled out a false bottom. After pulling it out, Felicity unlocked a metal box and withdrew the gun John had given to her in case of emergencies. She put the gun in her purse and skidded towards the elevators.

“Where are you going, Miss Smoak? The investors’ meeting?” Gerry asked.

“Something’s come up, Gerry,” Felicity said and tapped her foot and jangled her keys. An elevator pinged and the doors opened. “I have to go.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since the first chapter was so short, here is the second to make up for it. Enjoy!

Felicity scanned the area as she pulled up to the condo that presumably held Darhk and Connor. She didn’t see any H.I.V.E agents, but she felt like she was being watched in a professional, in-their-sights, sort of way. Felicity glanced down to her torso, checking for any laser dots. But that would be obvious and crude. Two things Darhk was not.

Not unlike this condo, Darhk was an anomaly. Felicity was used to cold, dank, abandoned warehouses when dealing with bad guys. This condo was almost inviting. If it hadn’t been for Darhk’s presence, Felicity would think it was charming, with its star-painted mailbox and garden gnome. But Darhk had a way of, well, darkening any place he was.

At the door, Felicity knocked quietly, then immediately wished she had given a stronger knock. This wasn’t the time to show any weakness. Connor couldn’t afford it. A man, who by the look of him had henchman listed as his only possible career choice in high school, answered the door and ushered Felicity into the sparse living room. The room was only furnished in blackout curtains, a lamp, and one chair.

In the chair sat Connor.

At Connor’s right, Darhk gripped the boy’s shoulder. A look of pure fear was replaced on Connor’s face with relief and certainty that everything was going to be okay. Felicity wished she had as much confidence in herself as Connor did. Her only real hope was the cavalry that was unknowingly scheduled to rescue Connor and herself in 12 minutes. Felicity knew trying to talk any sense into Darhk was a mile past a longshot.

“Welcome, dear,” Darhk said and the henchman went back to guarding the front door. “Your choice in footwear would be amusing if it wasn’t insulting. Are you planning a quick getaway? I will warn you, that would not end well for you or the boy.”

Felicity hadn’t had time to change out of her skirt, but she knew from experience running in heels hurt and, moreover, slowed her down. She had changed into her tennis shoes before driving to this criminal hideout. It was definitely a hideout. It was too bare and too absent of technology to be H.I.V.E’s headquarters.

Instead of answering, Felicity hugged her open purse closer to her chest.

Looking over at Connor, Felicity could see he was physically unhurt and unrestrained. Felicity wondered how she got so lucky. She was hoping it was overconfidence on Darhk’s part and not some plan to lull Felicity into thinking she had an advantage. Connor started to shake slightly, and his face showed he was scared again.

“Connor, sweetie, it’ll be alright. I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Felicity said, as she put on her brave voice, looked Connor in the eye, and gave him a small smile.

“Okay, Felicity,” Connor said, as he sniffed and his lip trembled.

“You are being so brave. I’m so proud of you. After this is over, your dad and I will take you to wherever you want to eat dinner, so be thinking where you want to go.”

He nodded and sat up straighter despite the tears in his eyes. With Connor calmer, Felicity turned her attention to Darhk. His scowl showed clearly his disapproval of Felicity’s interaction with Connor.

In the past few weeks since Darhk’s reappearance in her life, Felicity had not recognized him as the same man she had called daddy all those years ago. His physical traits were the same, though time had grayed his hair and added a few lines around his eyes. But the spark Felicity had always associated with her father, the jovial spirit that had attracted her mother to him, was not there. Felicity had searched for it when he reintroduced himself to her and whenever she spotted him in the background of Danforth’s press conferences and campaign fundraisers. And she searched for it now.

What Felicity saw now was nothing. An emptiness that promised no compassion or kindness. No love, fatherly or otherwise. It was as if Darhk and her father were two separate men.

Felicity wished that was true. A lot of heartache would have been spared if Darhk was not her father. John would still be able to look at her without being constantly reminded of Andy’s murder. Connor wouldn’t be here, which would save everyone anguish. And Felicity’s few precious memories of her father wouldn’t be forever tainted.

"Felicity, you could show a bit more gratitude. Like I said, I'm going to make your life better."

“And how are you going to do that?”

“I’m going to have you work for me.”

“No,” Felicity answered immediately.

“Now that’s not very polite. You should at least hear me out. It’s a very prestigious offer. Many would, and have, killed for this opportunity.”

Darhk didn’t appear put out by her refusal. He seemed to expect it.

Felicity took a breath and then said, “Then it seems you have plenty of candidates to choose from who have more experience working for your side.”

“Have a little more confidence in your skills. You are quite an intelligent young woman. You’ll become an invaluable member of my organization.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Felicity, don’t be rude,” Darhk said, raising his voice. Both Felicity and Connor jumped. Lowering his voice, he added, “You will listen to my offer. Then you will decide.”

Darhk pulled a gun from his waistband and pointed it in Connor’s general direction. The threat was clear of what would happen if Felicity didn’t consider Darhk’s proposal.

“All right.”

“That’s better, isn’t it?” Darhk asked, continuing immediately, without waiting for an answer. “It’s actually a very simple offer. I take care of this problem.” Again, he gestured to Connor with his gun. “Then you go back to Queen. You’ll then join the family business and become my protege. You’ll do for H.I.V.E what you do for your little organization. Search for people, direct our agents to their locations, discover people’s weaknesses, reallocate their money, and other job duties as required. I think you’ll find there won’t be much difference from what you’re doing now.”

“Except I’ll be working for the bad guys and getting people killed.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll never pull the trigger yourself unless you want to.”

“How thoughtful.”

“Don’t sass. This will allow us to be close once again.”

“You’re the one who left. It’s your fault we aren’t close. I’m going to decline.”

“I suppose I could allow the boy to live,” Darhk said, undeterred by the need to negotiate. “But then you would have to leave Queen.”

“I don’t understand,” Felicity said.

“With the boy alive, Queen would still run for mayor and his head would still be in the game. He would discover you were working for me. It would be too complicated and messy for you to stay with him.”

“No.”

“Joining me can make you very prosperous. And it’ll make us a family again.”

“I already have a family.” Gathering all the courage she had, “Connor and I will be leaving now.”

Connor started to stand only to have Darhk put his hand on Connor’s shoulder again and push him back into the metal chair. Connor whimpered and tears ran on his cheeks.

“No, dear, I’m still going to help you, even though you’re disrespecting me by refusing me. I’m going to get rid of your boyfriend’s mistake.”

Darhk shifted his body more towards Connor, aiming the gun at Connor’s head. Connor let out a more vocal cry, pleading with Felicity with his sharp blue eyes he inherited from Oliver to make everything better. To make him safe again.

“Stop! Don’t hurt him.” Felicity yelled, desperate to freeze Darhk’s movements.

Darhk stilled, though his face started to redden with anger. “Why can’t you see it’s best for you if this child is gone forever? Queen will never love you completely, give you the attention you deserve, with his affections divided between you and his child. You must know that deep down?”

“No. You don’t know Oliver.”

“Please, child. It’s true of every man.”

“Not of Oliver,” Felicity argued. “And, I love Connor. As if he were my own. You can’t hurt him.”

“You only say that because you’ve never had a child of your own. Now, hush, this is for the best.”

Acting on instinct, with her heartbeat drowning out any other sound, Felicity grabbed the gun from her purse and aimed it at Darhk. Before she could comprehend what she was doing, she took the safety off and squeezed the trigger three times.

The moment the first bullet left the barrel, time slowed down for Felicity. Her life with her father flashed before her eyes. She saw her father silently pick her up out of bed and rock her to sleep after hours of her tossing and turning. She saw him patiently teaching her math solutions when other kids were still learning their colors and animals. She saw him bend down and hug her after she crashed her bike and skinned her knee. She saw him making her laugh after coming home in tears because other kids’ were teasing her.

Felicity felt the love, comfort, and complete safety she felt as a kid when he was with her. 

The second bullet left the barrel and she saw what her life could have been if he hadn’t left her. How he would have balanced out her mother’s loudness, diffusing countless embarrassing situations like freshman orientation at MIT. How he would have been someone who would’ve challenged her intellect. How his love and continued presence would have added to her sense of belonging, instead of his absence stealing her home away.

When the final bullet left the gun, Felicity saw her life now. A life she wouldn’t have had if Darhk hadn’t left her. She saw Oliver breaking his vow to not kill anyone to save her from the Count. She saw Oliver breaking down in her arms when he discovered he had an eight-year-old son. She saw Connor falling asleep on her shoulder while reading a book together. She saw the three of them eating dinner together sharing their days.

Tears began to escape from her eyes as she grieved for the life she could never have with her father and what Darhk had forced her to do to protect the people in her life now.

Time sped up to normal and Darhk fell to the ground bleeding. His breathing stopped almost immediately. Felicity quickly ran to Connor and held him in her arms. She turned to the door where the guard had left. She heard the unmistakable sound of fighting in the foyer. When the fighting stopped, she aimed the gun at the doorway, unsure of who was going to step in. She quickly lowered it when she saw Oliver in Green Arrow gear. He took the scene in, looked in Felicity’s eyes for a moment, and struggled to pull himself away before Connor could identify him. He finally pushed himself out the door and the police entered the house immediately after.

Felicity held Connor close as he kept clinging to her tighter. She held his head to her shoulder to shield him from the sight of Darhk’s body. She could feel wetness where his face was and realized the muffled sound she was hearing was him crying.

“Shh, Connor. It’s okay. It’s over. You’re okay. You’re all right.” Felicity kept up the string of nonsense, meaningless, comfort. Her hands were patting and rubbing his back and hair. She carefully stood up and Connor immediately wrapped his legs around her waist. She nearly toppled over with the added 55 pounds attached to her and was thankful she had on tennis shoes instead of heels. Felicity shifted his weight to carry him more safely and comfortably.

She finally noticed there were officers around her and they were trying to get her attention. Felicity couldn’t focus on their words as her attention was divided between comforting Connor and forcing herself to not look at Darhk lying on the ground. She kept stealing glances at the copious amount of blood surrounding his body. Blood she had spilled. Blood that made up half of her.

Captain Lance entered the room. He had said something to Felicity. She’d heard his voice but not his words. Finally, he placed his hand on the middle of her back and guided her out of the condo. The sun was bright and it blinded Felicity. She shifted Connor again, and touched her head to his.

A few steps toward the driveway and Oliver, dressed as Oliver, was by her side. He wrapped his arm around her lower back and kissed her temple. Then he smoothed back Connor’s hair and kissed him on his forehead. Oliver’s eyes were swimming in unshed tears.

“Hey, buddy,” Oliver said, his voice soft and soothing. Connor looked up at Oliver, his face tear streaked and red. Oliver held out his arms to take him from Felicity.

“No,” Connor said and buried his face back in Felicity’s shoulder. Felicity shifted his weight again against her.

“Connor,” Felicity said. “Let Dad take you. It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere, but I don’t want to drop you. And Dad really needs to hold you.”

Connor looked up at her and decided she was telling the truth. He unhooked his arms from her neck and let Oliver take him in Oliver’s arms, his legs dragging against Felicity before Connor wrapped them around Oliver’s waist.

Oliver hugged Connor tightly, then shifted him to one side so he could hold him with one arm. Oliver wrapped his other arm around Felicity’s waist and brought her into his chest. Tears began to fall on all three of their faces as they held each other in the driveway.

“Ms. Smoak,” Captain Lance said. “I’m going to need a statement from you and Connor. Why don’t I meet you at the hospital?”

“I don’t need to go to the hospital.”

“Felicity, please do me a favor and don’t argue,” Oliver said. “I need to know both of you are okay.”

Felicity nodded at Captain Lance. “We’ll meet you there.”

Once they were all in the car and started driving, Connor fell asleep, his mind too exhausted from all that had happened to him. Felicity zoned out, staring at nothing through the window. Oliver grabbed her hand and squeezed lightly, bringing her back to him.

“I’m sorry,” Oliver said.

Felicity shook her head and began to turn back to the window. Oliver squeezed her hand again.

“Hey,” Oliver said. Felicity looked back at him. “I love you.”

Felicity squeezed his hand back this time. She leaned back into the seat and tried to sleep as well. Felicity closed her eyes but was immediately assaulted with the image of Darhk tumbling to the floor, bleeding. She opened her eyes and tried to stare at the yellow lines on the road spotlighted by the car’s headlights, but she could only see her father’s blood.


	3. Chapter 3

Felicity was on the couch, in her pajamas half-way through a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. The only light in the room came from the TV and a crack in the curtains, which caused a sliver of sunlight to shine on the other end of the couch. She had turned on a forgettable movie, but it ended over an hour ago and the menu screen was now spinning on the TV screen.  
Felicity didn’t see the TV though. She wasn’t seeing anything in the room. All she saw, with eyes open or closed, were the three bullets piercing Darhk’s chest and his lifeless body on floor laying in the pool of his own blood. She kept counting the bullets in her head. Over and over.

One. Two. Three.

One. Two. Three.

One. Two. Three.

Sandra picked up Connor after he finally consented to go back to Central City and leave Oliver and Felicity. Since then Felicity had been unable to leave the house. She couldn’t change her clothes or shower. Most of Felicity’s hair escaped its ponytail and she started to smell sour, even to her. Sleep was sporadic, and never happened for more than two hours before nightmares interrupted.

Oliver didn’t know how to best handle the situation. He wanted to be there for Felicity, but also wanted to give her space to work out what had happened. He made her meals but threw out most of the food, minus two or three bites she managed to eat. Oliver set out blankets she never used. After Felicity woke from nightmares, he would try to hold her only to have her shrug him off. Occasionally, when Oliver was sitting next to Felicity she’d grab hold of his hand, though it never lasted more than a couple of minutes.

It had been three days since Connor left and the only time she was even remotely herself was when Connor called. Oliver considered having Connor come back, but decided he would only cause Felicity to repress her feelings and she needed to deal with them. 

There was enough trauma in this one event to keep a team of psychiatrists busy for months. Felicity had seen Connor taken and threatened. Her father believed she could be turned from her mission, her friends, and her family. She killed someone. The person she killed had been her father.

Oliver could guess that her brain didn’t know what to deal with first. But he also knew she needed to start somewhere. He wasn’t sure how to help facilitate it though.

Which was why he left her at the couch, the first time he’d left her side since that day. Oliver was smart enough to know he needed reinforcement.

Felicity had just sat down the empty ice cream carton when Oliver came back with John. She had been able to take an hour nap while Oliver was out, but had been woken up by a nightmare of Connor being killed three separate times. She sat up straighter at the sight of John. They had barely spoken since it was discovered Darhk was her father and not at all since the incident. Felicity hoped he was able to find some peace from the outcome.

“Hey,” Felicity said, her voice scratchy. Her hands when to smooth her hair down into its typical ponytail. “What’s going on?”

Oliver sat down next to her on the couch. John sat across the room. He took in the sight of her rumpled pajamas and the nearly black circles under her eyes. Felicity fidgeted under his stare, trying to straighten the wrinkles out of her ‘Hello Sexy’ pajama shirt.

“We’re worried about you, Felicity,” Oliver said as he rubbed his hand back and forth across her right thigh.

“I’m fine,” Felicity responded.

She tried not to be defensive, but it was difficult as she felt she was being judged by two of the most important people in her life.

“This is not all right,” John said as he gestured to her and the ice cream carton in a sweeping motion. “And it’s okay to not be all right. No one is expecting you to be your normal bubbly self.”

Felicity felt the unmistakable burning of tears behind her eyes. She looked away, cleared her throat, and then willed the tears to stay put. When she felt more in control, she turned back to the guys. She didn’t trust her emotions to speak though, and she wasn’t sure what she would say if she could.

“We want to help you,” Oliver said. “We think talking about what happened will help.”

Felicity shook her head violently.

“Felicity, It won’t make everything better instantly, but talking to Lyla is what started to help me deal with what I had to do Afghanistan.”

“No.”

“Okay,” Oliver said. “You don’t have to talk. We’ll talk.”

“Fine.” Felicity sat back and crossed her arms.

The two men regarded each other trying to decide silently who would open up first. Though they were both willing to do whatever it took to help Felicity, it wasn’t easy opening these wounds again. There was hesitation on sharing their stories, but also where they should begin.

“The first man I killed,” Oliver said, as he ripped the metaphorical band-aid off of himself, “I went into a rage while beating him. The others had to pull me off his body. I wondered what the island was turning me into. I did it to save someone-”

“Who?” Felicity asked.

“Shado.”

“Hmm.”

“Even if I was saving her, afterward I wondered who was going to save me. Not physically. I was worried about…my soul, I guess.”

“How did you get over it?” Felicity slid her arms down into her lap.

“I’m not sure I ever got over it. I accepted it. I knew it was something I had to do at the time to protect Shado.”

“Knowing I was in a kill-or-be-killed situation helped me,” John said. “It made it a little bit easier thinking if I wasn’t in a combat zone, I wouldn’t be killing. Both sides have guns and both sides know the possible consequences of being in war.”

“So it was survival that made you kill?” Felicity asked.

“And completing the mission.”

“Survival,” Oliver said, “was what made me kill for Waller. If I wasn’t killing for her I was expendable. So I killed. And after Waller, I kept killing. I told myself it was for survival. Or for justice. Or for my father’s mission. I tried to comfort myself in those reasons. But deep down I knew every time I killed, it made me more of a monster.”

“What changed that?”

“I stopped killing. To honor Tommy’s memory. To be the person he knew I could be. Also, I had two people in my life,” Oliver looked at both John and Felicity, “who showed me, by example, there was another way.”

Silence permeated the room. Oliver was surprised the conversation had gotten so deep. The truth of Oliver’s statement shocked both Felicity and John. They hadn’t known the true extent of Oliver’s self-hatred or how deeply their presence and partnership had affected Oliver.

Felicity took a deep breath and brought a leg up to her chest.

“But neither of you killed your fathers.”

Oliver was quiet only for a moment, “I’m responsible for my dad’s death.”

“No, you’re not. You didn’t choose for him to kill himself; he did. And it’s not the same as pulling the trigger yourself.” Felicity started to trace random patterns on her pajama covered leg. Saying out loud what she did increased the pressure in her chest and the tears she had been holding back were more prominent in her eyes. She sniffed them away.

“You didn’t have any choice either, Felicity,” John said, his voice soft. He leaned forward, towards her. “He didn’t give you any.”

Tears finally escaped her eyes and ran down her cheeks. Felicity brushed them away only to have more replace them. She choked back a sob then took a deep breath. Finally she was able to tell them what had been jumping around inside her brain since the moment she pulled the trigger - “What kind of person kills their own father? A person who helped bring them life?”

“A person who would do anything to protect their child,” Oliver whispered.

Felicity quickly looked at Oliver. It was the first time Oliver suggested Connor was her son as well. She had felt it the moment they had learned who Connor was, but it hadn’t been vocalized by either of them.

Oliver ran his hand back and forth over her shoulders. She closed her eyes and leaned into him. Felicity was thankful her tears started to subside and she took another shaky breath.

“I still have to live with the knowledge I killed my father. And a big part of me is glad he’s gone.”

“I don’t think anyone is sad he is dead,” John said.

“I should be. His flesh and blood should be.”

“That might be true if he had acted like any kind of father to you.”

“He did, John. Before he left my mom and me, he was a good father. He taught me things. He was so patient and kind. Before he left, I never doubted his love for me.”

“But he did leave you,” John said. “He left you. And he may have been kind towards you then, but he wasn’t a good man. In fact, and I don’t use this word lightly, he was evil. He was responsible for so many deaths and so much pain. Pain he had no remorse for. And, you know, he had no remorse for leaving you.”

Felicity nodded. She opened and closed mouth several times, unsure how to articulate the thought in her head.

“What?” Oliver asked.

“If he was evil and I have his DNA, and I am capable of killing my own father, doesn’t that make me-”

“No,” Diggle said in a quiet voice.

“No.” Oliver said at the same time, with more conviction than Felicity had ever heard him say anything. “You are the furthest from evil than anybody I’ve ever met, Felicity.”

“But-”

“His darkness has nothing to do with you, Felicity,” John said. “His actions made him evil, not anything in his blood. Not anything genetic.”

“If anything, you were his redemption that he squandered,” Oliver added. “You are pure light, and not even Darhk could change that.”

“Felicity, look,” John said. “I know this is hard to believe from where you are sitting right now. But you did the only thing you could do. The only option Darhk left you was killing him. Killing evil, especially when they don’t give you a choice, doesn’t make you evil.”

“John’s right. Especially with you questioning what it makes you. What kind of person you are. Darhk didn’t question his actions. He did whatever was necessary to get what he wanted and torpedoed anyone who got in his way. That isn’t you.”

Felicity took in what her guys were saying. It made sense, but she wondered if she just wanted a way out of the guilt she was feeling. If she was looking for any excuse for leniency. 

Still seeing her doubt, John added, “If you were evil, you wouldn’t have been able to keep us together. You wouldn’t have been our team’s moral compass.”

“And you wouldn’t have been able to save my life many times over.” Oliver took her hand and squeezed it.

Their words found their way into Felicity’s heart. The pain that had taken residence there eased by a degree.

“I still killed someone. That is something I never thought I’d do. Even being a part of Team Arrow. How do I get over that?”

“With time,” John said. “By putting one step in front of the other. Until you can go a day without remembering what you were forced to do.”

“A good place to start would be to shower and go out to breakfast with us,” Oliver said.

“Breakfast? Isn’t it a little late?” Felicity asked as she searched for the time.

“It can always be time for breakfast,” John said.

“Yes,” Oliver said. “And this weekend Connor will be here. He’ll be a good reminder of what you saved.”

Felicity thought of Connor and the family he, Oliver, and Felicity had created. She was so thankful their family was still intact.

“Okay,” Felicity agreed. She slowly stood up and stretched her underused muscles. She turned to the bedroom and then stopped. “I’m still not quite sure how to do this.”

“It’s okay,” John said. “That’s why you have us.”

Felicity smiled at the man she thought of as a brother and at the man she loved. She quickly turned away and walked to the bedroom blindly, as tears splashed down her cheeks again. She didn’t feel like she deserved to have these two men in her life at the moment, but she was so grateful they were there and they loved her as much as she loved them.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!

“Felicity! Save me,” Connor screamed as his voice got closer to the living room. Felicity moved her tablet more towards the center of the coffee table as she heard his feet scamper across the hardwood floor and his giggle echo in the hallway. With more speed than she realized Connor was capable of, he slid across her lap, trying to hide and gain some protection from Oliver.

“What’s going on?”

“He’s Darth Vader and I’m Luke Skywalker. He’s trying to take me to the dark side,” Connor was barely able to say between laughs and hard breaths.

“Oh no!”

Oliver came staggering into the living room slowly. He breathed loudly and pointed towards Connor. Felicity couldn’t help but think Oliver resembled a zombie more than Vader.

“Felicity, you be Princess Leia, okay?” Conner asked. “And then we can fight Darth Vader together.”

“Okay,” Felicity agreed. 

Felicity heaved and dragged Connor over her the rest of the way, shielding him from Oliver with her body. “Darth Vader, you can’t have Luke Skywalker today.”

Felicity raised her eyebrows that sent Oliver a silent message there were limits in how much he could use his skills and experience in sword fighting, no matter what game they were playing. Oliver breathed hard again and continued his stumbled journey to the couch. Connor stayed behind Felicity’s back as he peeked over her shoulder.

“Get your lightsaber ready,” Connor said to Felicity as soon as Oliver was within two feet of them.

Felicity held her hand up, pretending to hold a lightsaber and made a humming noise to indicate it was on. Connor laughed and did the same thing. Felicity and Oliver looked at each other with amusement, trying hard not to laugh themselves.

“Luke, I am your father,” Oliver said in a voice that sounded more like his Green Arrow voice. Felicity decided not to mention the line was inaccurate; she could play her nerd card another day.

Connor jumped off the couch and attacked Oliver with his pretend lightsaber. Conner made noises every time the lightsabers hit each other. Felicity stood up more slowly, straightened her clothes, and then engaged in the fight.

“Felicity, I mean Leia, make sure he doesn’t escape from this room.”

“Okay.”

Felicity tried to imitate Connor’s sound effects, though her energy crashes sounded more like she was shh’ing a baby. Oliver moved around quickly, easily able to fend off both of them. Connor began to run out of breath. Connor stepped backwards and almost hit the coffee table but Felicity was able to reach around him and keep him steady.

“Dad,” Connor finally said as he stopped fighting. “You’re the bad guy. You have to lose.”

“Of course. Sorry.”

Connor started fighting again. This time as he swung his imaginary lightsaber wildly at Oliver, Oliver fell down groaning.

“That’s what you get for turning to the dark side. See I stabbed you there, there, and there,” Connor said, his voice triumphant. “What’d you do to him, Leia?”

“I - I cut off his foot,” Felicity said. She was uncertain what role Connor had in mind for her in the fight.

“Eww,” Connor said.

He began giggling at the absurdity of Felicity’s lone feat in battle. Oliver looked up at Felicity, clearly confused where she came up with the idea, and laughed too.

“Hey, you’re suppose to be dead,” Connor said.

Oliver quickly lunged for Connor, and held him across his lap. Felicity jumped in and began tickling Connor. If possible, Connor began giggling more and soon requested they stop.

“Yes, we better stop.” Felicity said. “We’re supposed to be at the Diggles at six.”

“All right, Bud. Go put on your shoes and socks. And try to comb down your hair.”

“Okay, Dad.” At that, Connor climbed out of Oliver’s arms and, remembering the rule about running in the house, speed-walked to his room.

Felicity and Oliver walked to their room at a more leisurely pace, arm in arm, with Felicity’s head on Oliver’s shoulder. Once in the bedroom they physically separated as Oliver went to the closet and Felicity the bathroom.

“Connor is lucky to have you as a dad,” Felicity said through the bathroom door.

“I’m just trying to be a good dad to him.”

The statement was meant to be dismissive of his abilities as a father, but Oliver’s words squeezed at Felicity’s heart and she gasped at the pain. It had been several months since she had killed Darhk, and it had become easier for Felicity as the days have gone by. Yet there were moments like this that caught her unaware. Moments when she remembered what she had done and what she had lost. Moments when Felicity had difficulty excusing her actions.

She forced the tears back into her eyes and swallowed the lump back down her throat. She took three deep, slow breaths and then emerged from the bathroom.

“Ready?” Oliver asked as he turned towards her. Recognition crossed his face and he was about to say something when a boy with wild blond hair jumped into their doorway.

“Let’s hit it!” Connor said. The new catch phrase was only a week old, and both Oliver and Felicity were already tired of it. Though Felicity was glad it wasn’t some Disney song that would stay into her head.

“Let’s go,” Felicity said. They exited the bedroom together, Oliver took Felicity’s hand and squeezed. Felicity squeezed back, thankful to have someone in her life who knew her so well and knew how best to comfort her. Once outside, Connor took her other hand and Felicity had to keep tears from spilling again. This time they formed for entirely different reasons.


End file.
